Dear God,
.....Hey. it's me. Uhmmm, I don't remember praying for patience. Maybe that was someone else, and you just got the messages mixed up? ....Well, okay. I know that doesn't happen, but maybe you thought I said I wanted patience.....I can't remember ever praying for that, to be honest.
.....there is SO much in my life that makes NO sense right now.
...........there is only one thing I can do at this point...pray.
God, what have I done that I need to go through this and be so frustrated and sad and confused and just altogether miserable?
......I'm not suffering, per-say, but You could give me just a little idea of what I should be doing.
#1. I need a job. I've put in applications to many places around my town....and I can't seem to get through anywhere.
#2. I need to figure out what I'm to be doing with my life this next year. College? Working at the Statehouse? Just working?
#3. I need to figure out, with Your help, what I'm supposed to do with relationships right now. ......Do we keep being friends? ...do we stop talking altogether? ....do we give courtship another try? ...where is the limit? ...God, what do you want us doing? Why can't we just be friends? ....I feel like it's my fault he tells me we can't be hanging out so much.
..What am I supposed to think when I get a message from him saying that I have "an addictive personality," and that "he's getting too attached to me," and that "he can't let that happen right now..."
....what am I supposed to do when he say's we can't be hanging out so much? ...have I done something wrong? ....but if I haven't, then what has happened to us???
God, I want so much to do Your will. I just need some sense of direction? ....Praying for patience is not something I remember doing.
